"...in order to create a world and populate it and make it real, we have to believe that we’ve got something amazing on our hands.
But it’s hard to sustain that belief through the grind that is necessary to actually make the idea real.
And if it helps, remember: this is what makes you a writer. Yes, this. The sick feeling in your stomach, the weariness you feel, the utter conviction that you are the Worst and your novel is the Worst and everything is awful."
- N.K. Jemisin, author of The Fifth Season, in a Nanowrimo pep talk.
That about sums it up. 10k words to go and I have no idea what to write. I'm down to describing my setting and characters. Remind me again, why am I doing this? My story is one gigantic mess. Even my husband's computer doesn't know how many pages long this draft is. Eventually it settled on 93. As a fan of fat books, I may only be 1/2 there, especially considering what I'll probably delete. Technically, I'm on draft 8 or 9. My very first draft was so pathetic not even I could stand it. This glorious idea in my head seems to disappear when I try to get it onto paper. I never knew what a terrible fiction writer I am. Thank-you ambition and Nanowrimo.
I had no idea how much work it takes to:
1) Write 50k semi-coherent words
2) Figure out a plot
3) Describe characters and settings and rules in non-boring, non-dumptruck ways
4) Show not tell
5) Just complete the crazy thing
6) Rewrite and
7) Not just delete everything I've ever written
So this is me, facing the Chasm of Doubt, as Jemisin calls it.
Will I jump or walk away?