Day 9

This post almost didn't happen. Today was a "no good, horrible, extra cranky, I-want-to-move-to-Australia," kind of morning. And that pretty much sums up my feelings about my manuscript (book? screenplay? I just want to write my story).

I am no stranger to feeling like giving up, so I went to my Nanowrimo inbox and the top item was a pep talk. Perfect. Then this quote made me laugh and a glimmer of hope has been restored.

"...move faster into the future. The world is full of people who say it can’t be done. If everyone listened to them, we’d still live in caves—and there would be no such thing as books."

- Dean Koontz

There is no one actively criticizing my book-writing efforts except myself. My inner critic is far rougher on me than any real critic will probably ever be. It says, "You can't do this. It's no good. You're no good. You'll never finish. Even if you do finish you'll never get published. You can't write. Ha ha ha ha ha."

How do I respond to my inner critic? This is me pushing the delete button. Delete. Delete. Delete. Deep breath.

"Wherever you are, keep moving forward." This was the title of the second message in my Nanowrimo inbox. And also a theme in my devotions lately. And something Tea has to deal with.

When I started prepping for Nanowrimo this year, I promised God that I would show up every day. That's it. I did it. Today I showed up. And I have each of these 9 days (except not Sunday), despite only having a few hundred new words. Just looking at my word count yesterday almost made me want to give up.

But I am still here. And I'll be back tomorrow too. So there.

Day 7

I found these suggestions from "Spec Scripts 101" by Ray Morton encouraging.

That's it for today.

Day 3

I know where I want to end up but have trouble getting started. As in writing, so in life. I am afraid of rewriting the beginning so much that it loses all appeal. My ending has not changed in substance since the very first draft, but I have started my book what feels like a hundred ways. This time, as I rework it and rework it, I see it coming to life. Detail by detail, I think, "Yes, this is how the story should go."

I hope my readers feel the same.

I feel better this Nanowrimo, flexing my writing muscles, such as they are, and feeling more confident and encouraged by knowing that a novel is a lot of work. The first Nanowrimo I was trying to clilmb Everest without any gear or training. This year, I am more seasoned. I am no longer as naive about what it takes, but I have not given up. Everest, here I come!

Day 2

"I am not able, and I do not want, completely to abandon the world-view that I acquired in childhood. So long as I remain alive and well I shall continue to feel strongly about prose style, to love the surface of the earth, and to take pleasure in solid objects and scraps of useless information. It is no use trying to suppress that side of myself."

- George Orwell, Why I Write

I must confess that I checked this book out because I confused my Georges and thought that this was the one who was a woman writing under a man's name. Turns out, that is George Eliot and this is the George who wrote 1984. In my defense, there is also a George Sand who was a woman too. So it seems that George is a popular first name for many authors, male and female. But since I checked out the book, I read the essay of interest anyway. I do not understand the politics that were riveting in his day, but I still found a gem or two for my quote collection about writing.

"All writers are vain, selfish and lazy, and at the very bottom of their motives there lies a mystery. Writing a book is a horrible, exhausting struggle, like a long bout of some painful illness. One would never undertake such a thing if one were not driven on by some (instinct) whom one can neither resist nor understand."

- George Orwell, Why I Write

Ah yes. This describes my experience so far with noveling. But still, one of my smallest joys in life is a true-in-my-life, well-written paragraph.

P.S. I also rose at 5 am today, despite staying up until 10 am last night trying to catch up. Yesterday ended with 531. This is why I am now snoozy at 4:26 pm.

Day 1

Yes, I did get up at 5:00 am, only to discover that my husband and my daughter were also awake. So it was a party of three in our bedroom as I opened my computer and typed 49 words. Yes, 49. That is my grand total so far for today. And that also counts an hour of writing while my daughter was in preschool, so this morning was probably something like 15.

But all was not in vain. I am simultaneously writing and learning about writing: setting, character descriptions, and plot points. I love dialogue, making me wonder if I should do a screenplay instead. In the end, it came down to a book because I feel like (perhaps erroneously) they have a longer life and more earning potential. Noble hmm? But there it is. This blog is to keep me honest in the future. :)

While I was sitting at lunch (cold cereal), I received a moment of clarity and the first three plot points of my novel rearranged themselves in my mind, connecting some previously separate events. Yay. With these three scenes in mind, hopefully I will reach that special number of words -1667- tonight. The plus about the early morning writing plan is that I can fall back on the evening writing plan in case of disasters. Or morning fog.